


Because You Don't Know How To Lose

by inpeacevigilance (RedRiggs)



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age II
Genre: Act 2, Arishok Fight, Gen, Jokes About Dying, M/M, Near Death, Purple Hawke, everyone's there but off to the side, hawke lives (but barely), the fenhawke is in that awkward middle stage and just one line, this is basically gen, varric's narration being shown to be unreliable
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-22
Updated: 2018-01-22
Packaged: 2019-03-07 23:38:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,469
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13445829
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RedRiggs/pseuds/inpeacevigilance
Summary: "The Champion killed the Arishok in single combat? It just sounds so... romantic."It took quite a bit of effort, but Varric didn't correct her. Instead, he quickly began to tease Cassandra. If he played his cards right, she'd get properly distracted and then let him move on. Some parts of this story were left out of his book for a reason. In this case, it was because the thought of Hawke right after that battle - broken, bloody, and only barely able to be called alive - was too painful to relive. It was only through the sheer, collective stubbornness of their group that they hadn’t had to burn Hawke with the rest of those murdered in the attack.Or: a more realistic version of the Arishok fight (though one that still involves a lot of running in circles).





	Because You Don't Know How To Lose

**Author's Note:**

> Title shamelessly taken from the All For The Game series. "Fight because you don't know how to die quietly. Win because you don't know how to lose."
> 
> It's been about 5 years since I've really written anything substantial, but leave it to Hawke to drag this out of me. I've got plenty of other things half started, so I'll be posting more about him and my Warden and Inquisitor, too. I've also got a mostly written sequel to this of him waking up, which has more FenHawke in it (hence the tag). That'll be up... eventually.

That made the third… fourth?... broken bone. His left arm was now even more useless than it had been before. He knew he should care more that his arm would likely never work again, but that was a problem for future Hawke… if present Hawke somehow managed to live long enough to get to that. After all, dead men don’t need functioning arms.

While he saw no way to make it out of this fight alive, he sure as hell wasn’t going to be the first to go down. But every swing seemed to come faster now (or his dodges were slower, but he was trying to retain some confidence here). According to the specifics of the deal, so long as Hawke died after the Arishok, Kirkwall would be safe. So he took another jump backwards, avoiding the unnecessarily large axe, then spun to slip away from the unnecessarily large sword that followed it. 

But Hawke had always been a shit liar, and he couldn’t keep lying to himself for much longer. He couldn’t help but see the terrified looks on his friends’ faces. Even Merrill, who was so hopeful even in the worst of times, seemed to have realized the inevitable. There were only so many evades left in him. His energy was depleting as quickly as his blood supply. Funny, how it takes a hellish fight without Anders watching his back to realize just how much he relied on his friend’s magic. Honestly, he wouldn’t be surprised if Anders spent half their battles just watching Hawke, waiting for when his idiotic friend needed a healing spell. But Anders couldn’t help him in this fight, Hawke had made that perfectly clear and he knew it was the right thing. They all did. That didn’t make him miss the help any less, though.

Another close call with the longsword, it’s ridiculously broad end slashed open yet another gash on his thigh, nearly reaching the bone. He stumbled and almost didn’t turn it into a roll in time. This was the least dignified fight he’d ever had, and a part of him was almost glad he’d be dead after. It’d save him the humiliation of being reminded that he frantically somersaulted away from a giant bull man for fifteen minutes straight. As he scrambled to his feet, regretting that he’d never practiced scrambling heroically, he wracked his brain for a new plan. The small voice in the back of his mind (this particular one sounded far too much like Aveline) reminded him that his last plan was agreeing to this stupid duel in the first place, so maybe he should just stop thinking before he made the situation worse.

Hawke flipped backwards just in time, nearly getting impaled. Again. That really was the only thing he could think of to make this fight worse. Having a fat sword shoved through your gut seemed like such a shitty way to go.

Oh.

_Fuck._

Hawke really, _really_ hated his brain right then. 

As he continued to dodge, his brain went into overdrive, his reflexes taking over for him even as exhausted as he was. Based on his various failed attempts, he knew that he couldn’t kill the Arishok with a thrown dagger or grenade. Those had always been Isabela’s specialty and the damn Qunari was too good at deflecting. Maybe if he’d been more serious with Isabela’s lessons, he could have pulled something off, but they’d squandered that time with ridiculous competitions instead. 

(The traitorous part of his brain whispered how Isabela had volunteered for this fight, how _she_ could be the one worrying about his deflections instead. Hawke shut that thought down viciously. Isabela was good, no doubt of that, but she couldn’t win a fight like this. And no matter what she’d done, Hawke could never let her do this on her own.)

Now, if he could get in close he’d be unstoppable. Usually Fenris or Aveline could hold the enemy's attention long enough for Hawke to slip in undetected. With the Arishok fully focused on him, that wasn’t an option. And, as he already found out (many, many times), the Arishok was really excited to run that sword through Hawke’s gut as soon as he was close enough. 

Was he really going to attempt this?

He wanted to look to Varric. His best friend always had that look when his plans were more reckless than brave. But honestly, he already knew what he’d see. Instead, he braced himself, took as deep a breath as his battered lungs would allow, and went for it. He ducked under the swinging axe, then purposefully (totally, completely on purpose. It had nothing to do with how exhausted he was or how much blood he’d lost. Really), dodged the sword’s expected follow up too slowly. 

The thick blade moved too fast for him to see, but he definitely felt it the second it pierced through him. Faintly, he wondered if this was what it was like when Fenris shoved his arm through a man’s chest. Surely it wasn’t this bad, at least Fenris was a pleasant last sight to have. The Arishok was hideous. 

Light-headed and unable to take in a full breath, Hawke still managed a weak chuckle at his own joke. 

It seemed that being run through wasn’t enough for the Qunari, though. Hawke felt his body lifted up, by the sword in his stomach, as he was dangled several feet above the ground. With the new wave of pain it caused came the reminder of his plan. Using the momentum of being swept upward, Hawke swung his good arm down, digging one of his daggers deep into the Arishok’s throat. 

His vision was blurry (from blood or tears or both, he couldn’t tell) so he couldn’t see the result, but he heard the Arishok’s strangled growl. Using all the strength he had left, which was far more than he thought he could summon, he twisted the dagger and jerked it to the side. The Qunari stumbled, dropping Hawke and jarring him even more. By this point, Hawke couldn’t begin to say where the pain was coming from, every inch of him flared with a searing pain. 

Both opponents had dropped to their knees, both struggling to breath. Hawke prayed to the Maker, Creators, and whoever wanted to listen that the Arishok was hurt enough that he couldn’t come after Hawke anymore, because he couldn’t move an inch. He wasn’t even sure he was actually sitting up, since what little he could see with his blurry vision seemed to be spinning rapidly. 

Every breath was a struggle, no more painful than any other second, but only because he seemed to have reached the maximum limit of pain nerves could feel before frying. Or maybe they were frying, and that’s what this was? Maker, that would be a blessing at this point, to stop feeling anything. 

Distantly, he made out the sound of cheering, and Aveline’s sharp voice cutting through (with only a hint of fear slipping out, too. That woman was truly amazing.) “Your Arishok is dead. Hold to your oath and leave Kirkwall. Immediately.” 

Hawke let out a sigh of relief, or would have if he’d managed to have a breath of worry in the first place. As it was, he’s pretty sure his lungs had stopped working when the giant sword pierced them. 

Somehow, without really seeing or hearing them, he recognized that his friends had coming running to his side. They were talking to him, and from the faint trace of magic, trying to heal him as well. It was a nice gesture. Very caring. But fruitless. There were plenty of the captives who needed healing as well, and they wouldn’t be a waste of magic since they’d actually live more than another few seconds. Nevertheless, Hawke felt a small smile slip across his lips. 

He knows they’d do everything they could to save him, stubbornness and a desire to accomplish the impossible seemed to be core traits of their group. Hell, he managed to defeat the Qunari war leader in single combat, so who knows? Maybe they’d succeed. 

As his vision faded to complete black, he realized it’d been quite some time since he’d taken a breath. So maybe they wouldn’t be able to save him after all. Ah, well. They were never as good as him at doing the impossible, anyway. He’d told them all that many times over, even bet on it once, and now he’s finally proven it.

_Varric, you owe me 20 copper._

_Or, you know. You would if I weren’t dead. But details, right?_

If his heart hadn’t stopped right then, Hawke would have laughed at how hilarious he was. It was a real shame no one else could hear his last joke.


End file.
